Sparrow at Heart

Love should not be one of them…


Oliver is nearly 8 months old.  This roughly means that I have been back at work for about as long as I was home with Oli on maternity leave.

Is it normal to still be settling in?

The work part it fine, it took about 3 weeks to get back into the swing of things.  Juggling work, kids and quality time with the husband seems more challenging.  On a rational level I know work is a constant, it will pretty much always be in the picture (in varying degrees).  The baby will at some point decide to start sleeping through the night – allowing you uninterrupted sleep and improving energy levels.  And homework is going to affect our day to day lives for the next 19 years.  *

Why does it seems so difficult to just settle by the end of an evening and enjoy your husband’s company?  Without picking a fight.  Without falling asleep.  Without responding with irritation.  Do we need to look at the way we communicate?  Should we look at our priorities?

Kobus and I have though of a couple of things we would like to do:

  1. We want to work towards a goal together:  We have decided to see a dietician together.  We both have weigh-loss goals and being accountable to the dietician and each other should bring about a sense of challenge and success.
  2. We would like to start a hobby together:  Kobus loves dancing and he is good at it.  I have 2 left feet even though he makes us look good.  Once he has settled into his new job, we will attend a class once a week.
The other thing that Kobus mentioned was that he wants to start studying with me.  He has decided on a degree and everything!  Think this a brilliant way for us to keep each other disciplines and motivated.

Source: via May on Pinterest

How do you keep the magic going with your partner while balancing – everything – else?

* Calculation of homework years:  Logan and WD homework years – 12 years.  Oliver going to school in 7 years time for 12 years.  Equals to 19 years…


Author: Alet Swart

Gauteng based boy-mama and blogger. Passionate about self-development & learning. A21 Volunteer. Empowered by Grace.

2 thoughts on “Love should not be one of them…

  1. Sjoe honey. It can be done but it’s damn hard to maintain while life i.e. lack of sleep/money/ routine etc happens.

    I would start by introducing a date night. Do you guys have date night? My DH is VERY strict with ours. We are not allowed to talk about kids AT ALL. It is meant to be all about US. I promise you, it’s hard not to talk about your kids but it gets easier.

    I think that it is awesome that you guys are working towards a shared goal and I quite like the idea of having a hobby together. And I also think that it works both ways. You must both WANT to work on the relationship and keep it fun. Also, lack of sleep and broken sleep is a complete killer and generally makes people miserable.
    Btw…I did find it a HUGE adjustment going from one child to two, even though at the time Child1 was 6 already and able to dress/feed himself/brush his teeth etc. So I would say to give yourself some time to settle into your new routine. Don’t rush it and keep trying to find ways to make your life as easy as possible. x

  2. I love your goals! You are so smart. Doing things together and coming up with a hobby that you both enjoy is a wonderful way to spend time together and have fun. Wonderful post!!

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