Sparrow at Heart

Baby Logan and nostalgic memories


In what I have experienced so far, being a mom to Oliver is very different from how it was being a mom to Baby-Logan.  For a start I don’t remember much of Logan’s first years, I was overwhelmed with responsibilities and fears that I will fail as a mother.  Sadly many of my memories from those early years are negative, stressful and fearful memories and I often battle to remember the good times from those years.

This evening I spotted a hint of it while I was having giggle and cuddle time with Oli.  I often took both Logan’s arms and held it above his head while he would lie down facing me and then I would blow air bubbles in his chest and tummy while my hair would tickle every other open spot of his little neck and shoulders.  This was such an instinctive and playful action that for us and as I came up from blowing the air bubbles, I could hear the little Logi laugh and I could see the smile that brought me happiness on every single one of those dark days.  I found myself confused for a moment and I had to look twice whether I had Oli or Logie in front of me.

It was an awesome moment!  I wish I enjoyed baby Logan as much as I am enjoying baby Oli!

Author: Alet Swart

Gauteng based boy-mama and blogger. Passionate about self-development & learning. A21 Volunteer. Empowered by Grace.

3 thoughts on “Baby Logan and nostalgic memories

  1. Ai sweetie, this is so sad. But I do think most moms have that anxiety with the first one. I have often felt a bit bummed that I never had just “a” second child to enjoy relaxed as the twins carried a lot of anxiety too.

  2. I totally get this post.

    Much of my childrens early years are a blur – I was so unhappy and wrapped in that negativity that I missed out on alot with them. I almost feel guilty when I spend time with Jack or do fun silly things with him.

  3. I have the same regrets with my first born. I often look at him and wish for a time machine to take me back to his baby days. I definitely didn’t enjoy him as much as I’m enjoying my second born and I feel so guilty and sad for him :(

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s