Sparrow at Heart

Psycho-analysis + Brilliant Ideas = Perfect conclussion

4 Comments

Let me start by saying I am extremely excited about this pregnancy!  I talk, think and breathe this pregnancy and for the most part this has been the main reason for my lack of blogging – people do not want to hear about your pregnancy all-the-time. 

And yet as excited as I am about it, I am a little irritated by the timing!  (Probably still my own fault)   It feels like a little part of me is being bullied out of the white wedding I wanted.  Not that my whole relationship and or marriage  with the Beefmaster is based on the wedding day itself or by the photos they represent, but merely because like most female, I have been dreaming about this day for a while.  In being realistic about all this I can do one of the following:

  1. Get married before the baby arrives – which we have considered, however commuting / lack of resources (time & energy) and the need to assess our opportunity cost (i.e.  spend money on wedding or spend money on baby stuff)
  2. Get married after the baby arrives – means I have to wait waaaaay too long.   And it really means I have to do things differently from how I did it with my first-born which is really contradicting to how I want them done.  In plain English:  I need to do the responsible thing:  have a maintenance agreement in place and register baby in my surname.  Which means lots of admin to fix afterwards..
  3. Get married in a different way – Elope and get married.  Get married in court.  Have a tiny reception on a tight budget.   

[ believe it or not, all that was background information.  Just so you don’t get lost in my train of though ]

As for the psycho-analysis part, I think maybe a tiny part of me, wanted to have this wedding different, let’s call it out of sequence if you will …  I do not have a great relationship with my father.   And even though he would not have been the person who would have walked me down the aisle, a part of me, must be afraid of what he would think if he wasn’t asked to do this.   Or I tiny part of my doesn’t want to include him in my joyful day.  Or fear at the thought of him and my mother being at the same event – leaving the atmosphere completely awkward.    There really is a million different ways I can twist all this around in my head.  Fact remains things aren’t going to happen as nature intended it to happen.  And that is surprisingly okay!  (when I am not feeling a slight irritation, but then I am pregnant – it really is too be expected)

[psycho-analysis over and done]

Firstly to answer the question of how we will get married, it really is simple – we are planning to get married in an elopement, with only ourselves and the kids.  Something simple, elegant and pure.  (Shockingly, it is still in the planning process.)  After the baby is born we will have a more formal celebration with family and friends.  In an environment where we can declare our commitment in front of our families and celebrate life and family! 

Today while reading the millions of wedding related blog posts I am still gathering in my google reader,  I got the brilliant idea.  One of my favourite things about the whole wedding was the excitement.  The save the date cards.  The count down to the date.  The invitations.  Branding the day.  Building the excitement.  The magic that day holds in your heart.  The beauty of showing the love you share as man and woman to the people near your heart. 

This really cleared everything in my heart!  It is easy to translate my wedding excitement to the excitement of the day we will celebrate life, as a family.  With two people who love each other and who declare that they will raise their children in Christian home with Christian values.

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Author: Alet Swart

Gauteng based boy-mama and blogger. Passionate about self-development & learning. A21 Volunteer. Empowered by Grace.

4 thoughts on “Psycho-analysis + Brilliant Ideas = Perfect conclussion

  1. Oh I think you made a brilliant plan! But why not elope in a small cute church – Cullinan or Sabie comes to mind. Romantic and Christian.

  2. I think if I ever got married again I’d go for the elopement option too…I’d have a really nice picture taken and mail it to everyone afterwards with “Wish you were here!” scrawled all over it. ;-)

  3. Just remember that the wedding is about the two of you and your love for each other!!

  4. Elopement was completely right for Noid and I. In retrospect I may have included the kids… but in other ways it was perfect just as it was.

    I think for you, reading this, the big wedding remains a big deal, so DO have a reception AFTER the baby is born, but do get married before…. I would hate to be the Mom in the maternity ward without a husband, but that is just me.

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